Dear 2011,
I really had high hopes for you, but I got to say that the first couple weeks are starting out a lot like 2010 and this worries me immensely. 2010 is not a year that I want you to emulate, in fact, I would rather we avoided 2010-ness all together. Sure some good things happened in 2010-we were blessed with expecting our second little girl, we were blessed with new friends, new career roads were started, we were constantly reminded that God's provisions know no bounds, and we were stretched to new understandings of what having a living faith is. There were some highs, but honestly the year was marked with the lowest of lows.
Promises from people we trust and relied on were broken. Good friendships were ended. Financial stress escalated. Those we loved passed away. We experienced life without sun-I am not saying this metaphorically I mean literally a total of like 8 weeks in the entire year that had sunshine. The year felt as if it was a blow by blow to all hope, and each time hope was reinstated a new blow hit. I honestly spent the first the first 18 weeks of being pregnant expecting at any moment to loose the baby-it just seemed fitting for how the year went.
In 2010 I learned that I truly do believe that Christ is who he says he is. I learned that by believing that I can let go of stress and experience joy even in the midst of the worse storm. I learned how to let go of the stress of the unknown and truly take on the peace and strength that Christ offers us. I learned that my relationship with Christ is not dependent on the material. Basically, it was a year in which all my ideologies and theologies of what I thought I believed were tested, strengthen and refined.
In 2010, I learned to let go of unhealthy relationships, and cling to healthy ones. I experienced how strong of a marriage Joe and I have built, and over and over again stood in awe at what a wonderful, loving man I was blessed with. I knew with certainty how much I love being a mother, and how much joy a child brings. How can one allow stress to control you when you know it will effect the little one whom you love so much? I experienced over and over again the joy of being a family, and the happiness and wonder children add to our lives. I became painfully aware of how blessed and joyous my life really is, as well as how painfully selfish and self absorbed I can be. I learned a lot about not letting emotions control me, but how to strive for what I believe is right, my convictions, regardless of how I feel.
2010 often felt like the year in which if I prayed for something the exact opposite would occur. It was a year that challenged me to keep praying even when it felt like God was against me. It taught me a level of vulnerability and dedication to prayer that I had yet to experience.
2010 was a year of hardship that brought learning, and healing. I believe fully that Christ does not only call us to salvation but to also the process of sanctification, and through my experiences of 2010 I know that given the choice of comfort or sanctification I will choose sanctification.
But with all that said I am ready for you, 2011 to be a year of Jubilee! This being our 7th year in Oregon I feel that it is even "Biblical" to want it (although our Oregon 7th anniversary isn't till mid August). I am ready for the unknown pieces to all come together and take a deep sigh of relief. I am ready for simply attempting to be a light in a broken, hurting world versus attempting to be a light in a broken, hurting world when I am broken and hurting. But so far 2011 you are knockin' me down so please, please, please can you stop? Seriously, I really am needing a break. If at the very least you can just keep the stresses of 2010 and not add new ones for 2011 that would be great. I realize that we are off to a bad start with that one, so lets make a deal to start over tomorrow, or even right now this very minute. Thanks, and please don't forget it is not to late to start the year of Jubilee.
-Imaya
P.S. lots of sunshine would be really nice too, again you are off to a rough start on this one but let's turn that around!
Imaya- I was pleasantly surprised to read this blog. Never before have I seen such an honest look into your life. What an incredible year you have had. I often think that God gives us years like that, so that we can look back on our lives and say, "Well, this situation is horrible, but at least it's not as bad as 2010".
ReplyDeleteWhat obstacles you've faced, what challenges.I wonder how God is going to use them in your life?
This year, I hope is the year of jubilee as well! I pray that your family will see a prosporous year this year.
And please, keep the frankness in your blogs coming... it is so endeering.
I have a good feeling about 2011. I have faith that it will be amazing.I'm thinking of you and wishing nothing but the best. *hugs*
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