As much as I hate to admit it I think we have come to that place where cry it out is a must for our sweet Hannah. Hannah is a horrible sleeper, but honestly I don't mind the every 1-3 hour waking up. I don't mind rocking her to sleep, I don't mind nursing her at all hours of the night, I really don't mind. I am not a cry it out kind of mom, I am just not. Hands down I like Dr. Sears more than Dr. Ferber. I love knowing that I am comforting my sweet baby, that I am building a strong attachment, that she knows her needs will be met when she cries for help.
And I plan on still meeting her needs. I plan on nursing her if she needs food (every four hours seem reasonable). But Hannah has changed the game- after I nurse her, after I rock her, after she calmly falls asleep in my arms instead of transferring into her bed she now wakes up SCREAMING the moment I set her down. Getting her to go back to sleep has changed from a reasonable 5-15 minutes to 1-2+ hours and I just can't function like this. Last night I slept from 5 am-6:30 am and that is it. Although I don't need a lot of sleep I do need more than that for a night. I literally didn't crawl into bed till 5 am, and today was horrible. I was a terrible parent, wife, person. Not sure what I would of done had Joe not taken the girls for a few hours when he got home from work.
I failed so miserably as a parent today that I came to the conclusion that I am not doing L or Hannah or Joe (or myself for that matter) any favors by not sleeping. I am not creating strong attachments when during the day I am so exhausted that I snap at the slightest thing.
So the plan is if all her physical needs are met, and if she still won't sleep then cry it out is what we will do. I plan on doing the gentle version-the you still check on them and let them know you are there version. So far tonight she has woken once, ate, then CIO for seven minutes till falling asleep. (I know I could have her in my bed but having my kids sleep in their own beds is a necessity for me. I can't sleep if I am being touched, and honestly I need that break at bed time.)
In case you were wondering why I don't have this figured out yet since Hannah is a second child the answer is simple-we never went through this before. L is and always has been an awesome sleeper. She, like Joe, can sleep through anything and will sleep 10-14 hours. Hannah is like me- needs very little sleep and the slightest noise wakes her. I finally get the "Baby is sleeping. DON'T RING DOOR BELL" signs. I wonder how many more things will be different with Hannah? There is most definitely no formula for parenting-you do what is best for each individual personality.
Well the babe has been silent for awhile now so I better hurry to bed and get some shut eye before the inevitable occurs. Good thing this little princess is so adorable, so cute, and SO SO HAPPY.
You. Need. Sleep. And Hannah needs to learn how to sleep in a bed. Whatever way you can get there is the right way. My kids were both WAY too stubborn for strict CIO, but I've tried with both. Eli cried for HOURS, for several nights, and would fall asleep with his knees locked standing in the corner of the crib. Syd cried so hard she threw up. Right now we're doing the very, very gentle version of moving a little farther away every night. If Hannah only took seven minutes on the first night, I think you guys will have this down pretty quick. You are absolutely doing the right thing for your family!
ReplyDeleteThose second babies, they just throw you for a loop. I think the more babies you have, the harder it is to let them cry it out. Because you recognize how quickly they don't need you. I know it's a tough decision, but I'm glad you're making it. You DO deserve more than an hour and a half sleep at night.
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