Not Enough, Too Much

Once I read, I believe it was in Captivating by John & Stasi Elredge, that women often feel that they are the contradiction of being not enough and too much.
That we are suppose to be pretty but not too pretty.
Thin but not too thin.
Powerful and strong...but now you are a bitch.
So be humble and nurturing...now you are weak and needy.
Be a career women-Oh, you choose your ambitions over your kids?
Be a stay at home mom-Oh, you are one without any ambitions?
State your mind but don't be opinionated. 
If you are stylish you care too much about your clothes.
If you like yoga pants and a tee you have let your self go.
You get the picture.

I recently read another "Your children don't need special crafts, perfectly decorated homes or a super fit mama. They just need quality time with you" post. It seems these "You are ok, even though other moms seem to have it more together than you" are everywhere. They aren't bad. They are probably really validating, but......

But as I read them I keep having this nagging feeling that something is missing, something is not right.  Because isn't it all really coming back to that same message, "You are not enough, you are too much"?

I feel like we are constantly being told two contradicting things:

"Be a good mom, do as those other super mama bloggers do. Enrich your kids lives. Make them memories. Let your creativity flow."

And

"Good moms don't have time to do all that. Be not just ok that you aren't like those super mom bloggers but be proud that you are giving your kids your time."

 ACK! It is that age old "You are damned if you do, dammed if you don't" that has been making us women crazy for centuries.

Here is the deal.

It. Doesn't. Matter.
 
It doesn't. I assure you.

Be yourself.

Take pride in who you are.

If being a super mom is you than be it, be it with pride.

If it isn't you than be that, but be it with pride too.

Cause it is true your kids need YOU.

Unique. Wonderful. YOU.

Got that?

If being you means no schedule, lots of ice cream, laughter, emotions, chaos do it, embrace it.

If being you means crafts, science projects, activities, schedules do it, embrace it.

If being you is another unique concoction do that, embrace that.

I am fit. I make healthy, organic, whole food meals& snacks for my family.  I am staying at home right now. I do science projects, and activities. I  let my four year old watch Lion King every day of spring break because I was too tired to think of something to do with her. The downstairs of my house is spotless, the upstairs not so much. I am notoriously terrible at laundry. I mop & vacuum every night before I workout. I don't like ice cream but could live on cookies and pizza if I could get past my health obsession. I purchase a Papa Murphy's family size half gourmet veggie, half cheese pizza once a week. My children have never had McDonald's or any other food with a drive thru window (I am a liar we have taken Elle to In-N-Out when visiting the Grands). We quit eating meat this year.  Two-thirds of the time my bed isn't made. My car is always a disaster zone......I am a mixture of strengths and weaknesses. I am a mixture of failures and successes. Sometimes I am a really bad mom, sometimes I am stellar. But above all I am me.

By being comfortable with our unique personalities and not allowing other unique personalities to make us feel either inferior or superior we are giving our kids the gift to do the same.

We are giving our kids the gift of confidence.

Do the things that reflect YOU. Let go of the rest.