a memory that changed me

Yesterday I read this NPR article about autistic children being target for bulling. In the article the author profiles a girl, Abby, with Asperger's syndrome, and Abby tells the following story:

"I've memorized nearly everything about Star Wars there is to know," Abby says, adding that she used to go to school dressed like Princess Leia. And when she got to school, she was sometimes so hyper that she literally bounced off the classroom walls, she says. All of that made her an easy target for one boy.


"Every time I'd walk by, he'd call: "Police, police, take her back to the insane asylum,' " Abby says. "The other kids would run in and say, 'We're the police.' And then they'd chase me."

It didn't help that Abby responded by fending off her pursuers with an imaginary lightsaber."

It didn't help that Abby responded by fending off her pursuers with an imaginary lightsaber-wow, I read that line and I was reminded  of a boy who went to my elementary school, a boy named Randy.

Randy was four grades below me, in my sister's class, he was overweight, tall for his age, talked funny, and was obsessed with The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I don't remember when Randy first showed up at our small k-8 school-I think he might of been in third grade and I in seventh. But I do remember, very clearly, one day standing in line to get on the bus and seeing a chubby kid  wearing a too small Ninja Turtles tee doing Kung Fu moves in the air while kids of all ages taunted him.

"Hey Randy, what Ninja Turtle are you?"

"I am Michelangalo."

[Lots of malicous laughter.]

"So you live in the sewer?"

"Yes, all of us...."

"Your not a Ninja Turtle, you just stink! Randy lives in the sewer, Stinky Randy lives in the sewer!"

[More malicious laughter]

"No, the Ninja Turtles live in the sewer because...."

"Stinky Randy, Stinky Randy!" [The crowd joins the chant].

"Don't make fun of the Ninja Turtles! Or we will have to fight you." [Does a Kung Fu move in the air, every one laughs even harder.}

"Hear that Stupid, Stinky Randy thinks he is a REAL Ninja Turtle-HAHAHA."

I felt sick. I knew I needed to say something, I knew I should stand up for Randy. But I didn't want to be made fun of, I didn't want to be the butt of the Randy jokes. So I just stood there frozen and ashamed of myself.

Then, a tiny blur of blond hair jumps to Randy's aid and I hear a booming voice comming from a tiny body, say:

"Stop it! Stop it all of you! You are mean! You are bigger than he is! You should be ashamed of yourself! Come here Randy, it is Ok to play Ninja Turtles. I will play with you."

My jaw dropped as I witness my tiny but mighty little sister come to Randy's rescue.

And from that horrible moment on Kaiah not only defended Randy from every bully, but she befriended him. She played with him, got to know him, & promoted Randy's worthiness to the kids in her class.
As time went on the other kids in her class joined her and also fought the big kids for Randy. As they did so they embraced Randy as one of them-still awkward and different, but one of them nonetheless.

Two years later I was in high school, and Randy & Kaiah were in fifth grade. By then Randy was cool-he was Kaiah's friend, and he was Kaiah's friends' friend. For the first time in Randy's life Randy belonged.

That spring Randy and his parents were putting an atenta on top of their house, something went wrong and the entire family was electrocuted. Kaiah was devestated. Her class was devestated. The entire school was devastated.

Randy was one of them and he was tragically gone.

At the funeral Randy's grandmother, a teacher at our school, came up to Kaiah and thanked her for all that she contributed to Randy's life. Then later back in class Kaiah's teacher and classmates dismantled their class totem-pole-each student had made a piece that represented their self-and handed Kaiah her's and Randy's pieces placed together. Randy's piece was a Ninja Turtle.