Sister, sister!

These two, oh they melt my heart daily. From the moment Hannah was born, no before Hannah was even conceived Linnea loved her. 

When Linnea was around two she started praying for a sister named Hannah. At the time we weren't sure if we wanted another, we were happy, Linnea was so much fun and were enjoying every moment of her twoness. But Linnea kept praying for her sister named Hannah, and a few months later both Joe and I had a deep longing for one more child.

When we told L we were expecting another she gleefully jumped up and down, clapping her hands and declaring, "I knew Jesus would answer my prayer for Hannah." When we tried explaining to her that we did not know yet if it was going to be a girl, that it could be a brother, L (we do call her L) stubbornly put her hands on her hips and fiercely declared, "No, Jesus would not do that to me."

A few weeks latter when the ultrasound showed the baby was in fact another girl we could not of been anymore relieved. Not naming her Hannah never crossed our minds, she was Hannah, the sister named Hannah that L prayed so faithfully for.

Linnea never doubted that it was a girl, so upon telling her the good news she just looked strait at us and said, "I told you, Jesus keeps his promises." And that was that.

Linnea was part of nearly every aspect of preparing for Hannah's arrival. Joe and I spent months praying for their relationship to always be as strong as Linnea hopped for, for them to always be the best of friends.

Hannah arrived, after a very easy labor, and upon entering the room, Linnea joyfully cried, "Hannah, my Hannah, is really here!" (My sister recorded it on video and it gets me every time I watch."

Their relationship has never skipped a beat. They have been the best of friends from that moment on, and would rather be with each other than anyone else. When friends are over they include each other, their friends know that the sisters come in a package. 

They may bicker but they usually self-resolve within seconds, but when they don't our punishment  is loosing to playing with their sister--the worse punishment we could bestow upon either of them.

They have always had their own rooms, I think it helps their relationship by having their own space.

One thing that continuously surprises Joe and I, their personalities are so different, yet they get a long so well. I could write a book about how different they are. People who know them always comment on how glaring different their personalities are.

A couple years ago they started singing a song they made up about their differences, and how much they love each other. Linnea sings something like, "I am a tennis girl!" Hannah sings, "I am a baseball girl!" L sings, "I like ballet!"Hannah sings, "I like gymnastics!" then the chorus they sing together, "But we are sisters, we are best friends, we don't have to be the same to love each other!" It is about as cute as it gets--the song is much more detailed and longer, it changes as they change,

I write this because yesterday was an especially special sister day. It was a rare Saturday that had nothing scheduled after Linnea's morning ballet class. The weather was perfect, they declared it a "Secret Sister Day" and spent hours upon hours in our backyard playing, giggling and laughing. They barely came in for lunch and dinner, and played relentlessly and joyfully until we forced them into showers and bed. My prayer is still their relationship only grows stronger, for nothing to every change it.

Mothers' Day Rant (written by a father)

Why Mothers' Day at Church Sucks

There's nothing like a pulpit on Mothers' Day for mansplaining. 

At church, we heard from man after man, spewing platitude after platitude: “I could never do what my wife does,” “We need to honor mothers like we honor Mary,” “Most of you are here because your mother wouldn't stop dragging you to church as a kid.”  We had the wonderful opportunity of listening to a twenty-first century male of European heritage tell us all about the emotions running through a first-century Jewish woman's heart as she gazed up at her executed son.  We had a male pastor try valiantly to not exclude anyone who lacked a penis from the wonders of motherhood.  (Naturally, he failed.)

But you know who we didn't hear from?

Mothers.

It wasn't because there were any shortage of them.  I saw lots of mothers from my seat in the back.  There were mothers on every row.  Mothers here, mothers there.  Generations of mothers, mothers sitting next to each other.  Some rows were even composed of nothing but mothers.

But every one of them was silent in church on a day that is ostensibly specifically designed to honor them.  The troubling part was that it didn't really seem to bother them.  In fact, they positively basked in all this misdirected masculine officialdom, lapping up the spectacle of men paying tribute to them as if the latter were Acadamy Award winning actors thanking their high school drama teachers.  Cute, but essentially meaningless.  I swear there was an “Aw, shucks” on every delicately rose-tinted lip.

But not one said anything beyond a quiet little chuckle to her neighbor.

You know what might honor mothers?  Maybe we should let mothers talk about what it's like to be a mother.  Maybe we should let women talk about what it's like to try to be a mother and fail.  Maybe we should hear what it's like to be a great mom and still—still--have an aching hole of unfulfilled longing inside her heart.  Maybe we should even get a mother into pastoring, and hear from her more than once a year, on stuff that matters to the whole damn congregation.  (Crazy talk, I know.)

Hell, maybe we should even let mothers talk about things that are important to mothers—who are, after all, at least nominally people, right?  Let's hear them talk about salvation, and Jesus, and coming to grips with the human condition.  Or having dreams, and a life of their own.  Or, God forbid, working outside the home.  (I hear that some mothers even like football and fishing and sex and tools, so let's let them talk about that, too.  Whatever the hell they want.  This is their day.)

And then maybe we can dignify their talk with more than just a polite chuckle to our neighbor.  Maybe we can find ways to pull women's issues out of a sidebar and put them into a mainstream conversation, to embrace the concerns of women as if they were genuine social concerns--which, last time I checked, they actually are.  Maybe mothers should be elders and pastors, and lawyers and CEO's and politicians—and maybe it shouldn't be a big deal when they make it happen.  Can mothers actually make policy and a family? Well, you know what they say: with the support of a great husband, anything's possible.

Or we can continue to maintain the silence.

But if we do, let's stop applauding ourselves for loving mothers, because if we maintain the silence, we don't love mothers at all.  We love the specifically assigned subordinant role that is typically given to women; we honor those women who pull it off with some semblence of competence; and we disfigure those women who don't, or can't, or won't.  (And we can't forget the way that linking motherhood to femininity in the first place causes tremendous pain to women who aren't mothers.)  The thing is, we're not celebrating the people who are mothers--we're celebrating the culture that keeps mothers from becoming the people they were meant to be.

Happy Patriarchy Day, everybody.

Finally a Hannah update

Hannah is almost 16 months old and long over due for a blog update. Our adorable girl is rapidly going from a baby to a very fun toddler, and I feel the urgent need to document her unique development.

She continues to defy all normal language development and surprises us daily with phrases such as,
"I have a bucket."
"I am fast."
"I picked it up!"
"Hello, I see you!"
"I pet the kitty-cat."
"What is this?"
"I did it!"

She seems to have grasped the "I statements" but still speaks in babel 80% of the time and rarely says single words. There is no pointing and saying "book", but instead "I read book." Elle was an early talker and by 15 months knew more words than I could count, including things like the names of colors,  animals and their noises, and she was putting together 2-3 word phrases. At this age Elle only used words and didn't talk in babel, but then again she also didn't speak in grammatically correct sentences. Where as with Hannah we have no idea what her vocabulary is, she talks continuously  in nonsense babel, and then astounds us with one of her perfect sentences. Basically, Hannah is taking an all or nothing approach to language but then again she takes an all or nothing approach to everything.


Hannah is FUNNY, and she knows it. She is also a ham and will do most anything to get us to laugh. She loves to walk sticking out her chest, or does a strange hunched over penguin thing but never without a sly glance to make sure we are watching. She is currently all about trying new things with her body be it attempting downward facing dog, walking on her tiptoes (a family trait that leads to define calves), or anything else she can maneuver her body to do. She lacks any normal fear of bodily injuring and plunges strait into whatever impulse she so desires-quite a change for us!  Going to the beach is very tricky with this child that lacks all fear as she is generally bee lining strait to the water, but then again Hannah is always determinedly bee lining strait to something.

And like all younger siblings Hannah wants to do whatever Elle is doing, and Hannah emulates Elle in every way. Luckily for Hannah Elle is the type of big sister that eats up this attention. Elle is always teaching Hannah one thing or another, or creating fun games for them both to do. Hannah is always included and is given a bigger role than just side kick. This harmonious sisterly love is not what we were expecting, but Joe and I relish in every minute of it. Prior to the move Elle requested that she and Hannah share a room in the new house. We were a bit hesitant but liked the space saving it would render so consented. It is unbelievable but them sharing a room has been AWESOME. If Hannah wakes and sees that Elle is sleeping she will often just go back to sleep. If both girls wake before we are ready Elle just climbs into Hannah's crib and reads Hannah books. There are lots of giggles in the crib and the girls will both last like that for nearly an hour while we lazily wake up-SWEET! On a side note if it were up to the girls they would dress identically to each and everyday.

With all that Elle attention Hannah is starting to pick up Elle's favorite past times such as drawing. For not even being 16 months old yet she is getting quite good with her scribbles. Luckily for Hannah, Elle is incredibly patient and most of the time puts up with Hannah's utter disregard for keeping the coloring utensils in order.

This little miss has continued on being her always happy self, except for when she is not. There is no middle grown with this kid, luckily it is generally smiles, babel and singing. She is always on the move, always exploring and always ready for a new adventure. She is a constant reminder of why this is my FAVORITE age.

'Except when she is not." Hannah DOES NOT LIKE things to not go her way. She is quite mercurial when told no-turns red, screams, cries, beats the grown with her fist and strangely yells HANNAH, HANNAH, HANNAH! As in "give it to Hannah!" She is also insanely stubborn and logical reasoning does not really work with this one-I promise I didn't expect it to but number one listened to logical reasoning at this age. This picture was a quick tantrum about the toilet not being a water table.

Luckily, Happy Hannah emerges quite quickly if we just ignore the outburst. We adore this girl and as stated before she is EVERYTHING this family needed to be complete.

A year without sleep in review...

Up until 5 weeks ago Hannah was averaging about 5-7 hours a sleep in a 24 hour period-as this blog has documented on more than one occasion. Generally she would wake every 1-2 hours and did not nap during the day. There were weeks at a time where I would get four to five 45 minutes increments of sleep a night. And like I said she NEVER napped.

It was horrible and I am very glad I took pictures, and kept up on her baby book because honestly I do not remember most of this past year. Seriously, I think back and it is just a blur with an occasional foggy memory. Recently I was looking through the photos I took  and more than once I would come across a picture and only have the vaguest recollection of being there, and doing that. It was oddly like flipping through another person's life.

Even weirder though I am finding strange sleep deprived things....like various stacks of thank you cards written but never sent, clothing items that I haven't been able to find for months in places like a potting planter on a garage shelf, a Christmas gift I had custom made from an Etsy shop but apparently left in the garage when I went in there for probably shipping material.

I am also starting to remember things that I forgot-Like last night as I was drifting off to sleep it occurred to me that I missed a friend's baby shower that I RSVPed to! It was an evite and I remember waiting for the evite reminder cause I couldn't remember the date, time or location. Because I thought I didn't get  a reminder I assumed the shower had been canceled. Not really sure where my logic was, but wait it gets worse. Around that same time I got what I thought was another evite baby shower invitation for another friend of the same name and same first initial of surname.  I even TOLD a mutual friend (who no longer lives in Portland so wouldn't of gotten the evite) that this girl was pregnant! Nope not pregnant...friend two of same name was not having a baby shower but a going away party! I some how mentally combined her going away party evite with friend one of same name's baby shower evite reminder. The puzzle pieces all lined up last night, but seriously how tired must I have been to get that so wrong?!  (HUGE apology card and gift will be going her way soon. I feel SO terrible about this. Probably should also apologize for pregnancy rumor to other friend-EEK.)

I am a bit afraid what other things will pop up, or what other things I forgot. I can only imagine how flighty I must of seemed to everyone. The fact that both kids are alive, and that we still did so much amazes me. What a sleep deprived year it was.

OH, but Wonderful Hannah is making up the year without sleep beautifully. In bed between 6-6:30pm, up between 5-6am, then a morning nap daily from 8:30-10:30/11:30 am, and then another from 3:30-4:30/5:00 pm. And this baby is insistent on her sleep schedule! Like clock work she lets us know she is ready for sleep-generally she gets her blanket and lays her head on it, although recently she also brought me her "Good Night Moon" Book too. If we are out and about she TRANSFERS as in doesn't even wakes when I move her from car to bed. Even if she is wide awake at nap time I just read her her book(s), put her in her crib and then she plays happily in there for about 20 minutes before going out.

The bliss of sleep, the bliss of productivity....the bliss of having a working brain.

And let us not forget the Big Sis

Hannah

Happy Birthday, Hannah!

Happy Birthday fearless, joyful Hannah!

 And yes, mighty you will be.